Ever heard the saying: ‘Time flies when you’re having fun’? Well I disagree. To me, time just flies. It soars and glides and then one day it hits you in the face and you have to stop to think about it.
Personally, I don’t like it. It annoys me, it worries me and most of all, it frightens me. When I think about the fact that it’s May already, I shake my head and I wonder why I haven’t noticed the time passing before now. Usually I get to March and I start moaning about all the time we have left before we break for summer. Now I just want time to slow down so that I can enjoy it properly… but I know that it will only get faster.
I need it to slow down. In just over a year, my year group will be standing down from post 16 and breaking up for study leave. It doesn’t seem like two minutes since I was writing a blog post about finishing year 11! The other week, my friends and I had a girl’s night in and the following morning I was looking at all the photos we had taken and I started to get emotional. I don’t want our time together to end. So many things are going to change. People are going to leave - properly - and some friendships will be lost. It’s a horrible thing to say but that’s just what happens. People move on and lose touch and create new lives for themselves in new places.
So I just need time to slow down. To allow me to appreciate the people I have in my life before we go our separate ways and to allow us to have a truly memorable final year together.
I love seeing little things like this.
(Source: buddhafari)
Expectations. We all have them and each one is different. In my opinion, no two individuals can have the same one as the expectation exists as a thought. Whether it is big or little, long-term or short, it gives a feeling of uncertainty. It isn’t like an aspiration. With an aspiration, you hope to achieve something, therefore you’re more likely to go out and get it yourself. An expectation is something you feel should happen and being the lazy population we are, we just sit around and wait for it. Hence, the feeling of uncertainty.
I am just as guilty. From time to time, boredom attacks me and I am suddenly removed from the current situation, conversation or lesson I was formerly part of. My mind wanders and I am taken hostage in my own world. For example, last week I was sat in the common room with my friends. Everyone was immersed in a full blown conversation yet I remained detached. I was watching the rain outside, the dull blanket of grey clouds suppressing the sun and an inner voice repeatedly screaming: There must be something better than this. I felt trapped. Trapped in my school, and my routine and trapped within a bubble of depressing English weather.
At that moment, I was expecting something better. And it is right now, whilst typing these very words, that my mind has just clicked and I have suddenly understood why my emotions were so negative. My expectation was too vague, too vast and too far in the future for me to do anything about it. That is why I was feeling down. There was nothing I could do about the weather, nor was there anything I could do about being in school at that very moment. I was imagining something in a way that made me feel like I was supposed to have it right there and then, rather than thinking of it in it’s natural context - the future.
In a similar experience a few days later, I again found myself watching the rain, only this time I caught sight of the sky. A colour of blue emerged through the clouds and in that single moment my mood completely changed. I felt hope and excitement and I smiled. I smiled knowing that with patience and determination, achieving both expectations and aspirations is possible.
Filed under expectations writing aspirations
Bonjour mes amis!
As many of you know, I’ve recently returned home from Paris which was such an amazing trip! I went with my mum and we spent the weekend shopping and sight seeing. We arrived at lunchtime on Friday and spent the best part of two hours finding our way to the hotel via the metro. I have to say, the metro is my favourite form of transport! It’s so fast and the trains are really reliable - much better than buses! We found our hotel and then immediately began our shopping extravaganza at Les Halles shopping district. Thanks to our 4am start to the day, we didn’t shop for long as exhaustion quickly took over and we returned to the hotel to rest before going out for a meal. Whilst walking to the restaurant I caught sight of the Eiffel Tower in the distance and for some reason I had to catch my breath. In that moment it dawned on me where I was. Paris. La ville d’amour. The beauty of the city overwhelmed me and I had to take a moment to just let it happen.
Saturday morning we found ourselves underneath the Eiffel Tower looking at a disappointing queue of tourists. Had we have been staying in Paris for longer, we would have joined the queue. But our time was precious so we admired the monument and then continued with our day. On our way to L’Avenue des Champs Élysées we came across a market, complete with sea food so fresh - the lobsters were still alive. The smells of the fresh bread were tantalizing and mouth watering to the point where I found myself buying my first pain au chocolat. We made our way to L’Arc de Triomphe and from there we rampaged down L’Avenue des Champs Élysées, allowing our inner fashion victims to roam free. That evening we ate at a Korean BBQ. If I’m honest, I don’t think there are words to describe how good the meal was. We chose a set menu which was a starter platter and a main course. The starter platter had tofu soup and Korean dumplings with salad. I have never tasted dumplings like that before, but now that I have, I never want to taste normal dumplings again! The main course was white rice with a plate of thin sliced meat which you had to cook yourself. The flavours were indescribable.
Sunday was our main day of sight seeing and I can confirm that we walked approximately five and a half miles across Paris. We began by getting the Metro to see the Moulin Rouge and then back across the river to the Notre Dame Cathedral. From there we walked up to the Hotel de Ville and across to the Louvre Museum. We continued through the grounds of the museum, past the Carrousel until we reached the Place de la Concorde. We crossed the river, passed a few more monuments and eventually found our way back to the hotel, thanks to my (fantastic - if I do say so myself) map reading skills. After resting, we went to the cinema to see My Week with Marilyn which was thankfully in English and then ate out at another restaurant. At this restaurant, we chose to try some French cuisine - snails. All I will say is, I don’t recommend it.
Our flight was scheduled to depart at 5:05pm Monday afternoon so we chose to make the most of our morning by making a mad dash back to Les Halles shopping district in a last minute attempt to complete our shopping expedition. We ate out for lunch - a croque madame for mum and a croque monsiour for me (thats a ham and cheese toastie however, a croque madame has a fried egg on top) and a hot chocolate brownie with icecream for dessert. Delicious!
Our flights, both there and back, were short and comfortable with no delays or serious cases of turbulence (much to my delight) and before we knew it, we had landed back on Yorkshire soil. My city break has given me a taste of how exciting life can be. It has inspired me to continue enjoying my days to their full potential and one day I plan to return and enjoy much more of the city - go up the Eiffel Tower, see a show at the Moulin Rouge, find the Mona Lisa. It has also made me want to visit many more other cities and experience many more other cultures. Who knows what life may bring? Come what may.
First of all, I would like to apologise for my absence over the past few months. I began experiencing writer’s block and then I just forgot completely. Apologies.
Right, well, Merry Christmas! It’s scary how fast this festive time of year has come around. Although, I say festive - I’m not feeling very festive. Many people are enjoying the magical feeling December brings however I just can’t get into the mood. We have our decorations up in the living room and my Christmas cards are blue-tacked to my mirror yet I just don’t feel the excitement I felt five or six years ago.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a scrooge, I just can’t quite get into the swing of it. I feel that it would be easier if I had a younger sibling, that way I could pretend that Santa is real and make more of a big deal out of it. I could take them to his grotto and help them leave carrots, milk and mince pies out on Christmas Eve. We could go to bed early because everybody knows that Santa doesn’t come down the chimney if you’re still awake and we could get up early and sneak downstairs before our parents get up, to see how many presents the big guy has brought us.
Instead, I’m working Christmas Eve, and for the rest of the holidays I’ll be revising for my January exams.
But I shouldn’t forget those who don’t even get the chance to have a Christmas. Those who may not receive any presents, or eat a meal or even have a roof over their heads. Radio Aire’s Cash For Kids is a fantastic organisation and I wish I could say I have got involved. However, I am ashamed to say that I haven’t yet done so, therefore, by the end of the week, I plan to take a gift to one of the drop off points and make someone’s Christmas.
Merry Christmas Everyone!
I’m not scared of flying. At least I thought I wasn’t. Everything about it makes my stomach turn… Except the destination of course! You’d think by now I’d be used to it but from the moment I enter the aircraft I’m in plane mode, which includes nausea and panicking at every jolt, wobble and turn. I try to calm myself down but there is still a little voice in the back of my head telling me i’m going to die… Yes sorry, that is a bit mellow dramatic. However, I do sometimes feel like something horrible is going to happen.
Recently I was on my way to the airport and someone made the mistake of telling me that a plane crash is more likely to occur during take off and landing. So how amazing did I feel when we experienced turbulence during take off? Let’s just say, blabber-mouth suffered! It was the worst turbulence I had ever experience in my sixteen years of flying. The plane was dipping and shaking and my imagination was in overdrive…
Now thinking back to when I had to travel by plane again after that little incident, my (teeny tiny) fear has provided me with inspiration, which makes me wonder whether our fears can not only be conquered - but put to good use.
It’s what we’ve been waiting approximately ten weeks for.
The A-Level results were revealed last week and now it is our turn to receive what we worked hard for all those months ago. The anticipation is tearing me apart as I count down the next twelve hours (some of which I will hopefully be asleep during) and tomorrow morning feels like a million light years away. Different emotions have been felt by all of us in the run up to the eve of our GCSE results - worry, excitement, some are just sick of waiting!
Whatever the outcome tomorrow, we have to realise, these grades don’t change who we are. If they result in preventing an option in the future, find a way around it. If you want it bad enough then I’m sure you will find an alternative option. Don’t let tomorrow define you if it portrays a person you don’t want to be. What if you don’t know what kind of person you want to be? How do you know if you’ve done enough? In our case, we get it written down in the form of ABC and stored in a brown envelope. We will queue in alphabetical order, some chatting, others silent. I imagine I will remove myself from the crowd and have a moment that is all mine before tearing off the seal and reading the page carefully. And there my vision goes blank. I have dreamt about what the page may say but in every dream it has been an empty white sheet and my inner imagination has laughed as I awake from my cruel slumber. But soon the page will emerge with it’s black ink and our hearts will thud.
Good luck class of 2011.
Where would we be in life without friends? Loneliness is one of the worst emotions we could be faced with and the thought of it -to me- is quite frightening. Friendship can complete a person; it can fill a hole that may have been deepening for a long period of time. Perhaps an empty childhood or even through adult years - having a companion to help you enjoy your days (or tackle them) can lift your spirits to a whole new level.
Personally, I don’t know where I’d be without my friends. And sitting here, alone and over one thousand miles away, I’m really beginning to appreciate them a hell of a lot more. I’ve been on holiday two and a half days and I have yet to make any friends. don’t get me wrong, I’ve met people but nothing has developed into a bond where I feel comfortable to go talk to them again. And to be honest, I’m more frustrated with myself. There is a wide selection of young people who I could target but for some reason I can’t find the courage to spark up a conversation. So really, I have no one to blame but myself.
Each night I have given myself a ‘pep talk’, thinking up possible opportunities for me to get chatting the next day. And although each daydream is realistic, none seem to play out in front of me. However, I am certainly not a quitter and so tonight I will return to my La La Land and create a genius plan to capture and kidnap some unfortunate adolescents…
When we reach the end of our lives, how do we know if we have made the most of our time on Earth? What is it, when we look back, that indicates how much we have made of ourselves? The amount of money made over the lifetime? Number of friendships formed? For some, could it be the number of one night stands experienced? (Are you really that proud of it?) Life is something to cherish and the last thing you want is to look back and have regrets. No matter how big or small. But how do we know if we’re making the most of the present day, when we’re in the present day? The convienient thing would be to have a little time machine where we could go forward a day or two before living it to see what the outcome would be and whether we’re satisfied with it. But then, the future shouldn’t really be interferred with, should it?
Let’s take the next 3 months as an example. June, July and August consists of endless days of nothingness, which gives me the chance to shape them into my perfect summer. One which I can look back on and think, those were the best days of my life. (Yes, the Bryan Adams tune played along in my head as I typed that out…) But seriously, I want to give it significance, using my new found freedom to my advantage. The summer of 2011. I’ve already begun searching the internet for cheap train and coach tickets to allow me to explore Britain, with friends, to the best of our ability.
My days will be recorded through photographs, of which I hope to build a collection and create some sort of scrap book. Hopefully I will share my summer with all you loyal readers, on the web - and off!
